Your Greatest Year Ever!

Ready to make 2019 the greatest year of your life?! I know I am. In this talk we reboot traditional new year’s resolutions that we all break anyway, and replace them with a reboot to our best selves.

Get ready to welcome YOU 2.0, the best version of you Ever! This talk is not just a cheer fest of self improvement or spiritual theory. It is a workshop worthy how-to session, turning theory into practice. Your spiritual journey is about to get a turbo boost! Who’s with me?!

New Years Day is always a time to reflect on your past year, then decide what you want to change in the new year. We often decide on big goals and new accomplishments. Maybe we want to lose weight, learn a new skill, find your ideal partner, travel more, quit a bad habit, start a good habit. Then we crack open a new journal and begin to write down our new years resolutions.

New years resolutions are good but we rarely succeed. I love it how every January my local gym fills up, then by March most of the new comers are gone and only the truly committed remain. I love it when I drive around town in the first week of January and see those people who you never saw outside before, out running. Their faces pale and stressed. Their stride awkward and strained. But not to worry. Give it a week and they will be back on the couch.

Making resolutions is a great practice. It is how we go about achieving them that it gets a bit messy. I believe this is for 2 primary reasons; we don’t have a good enough “why”, and we don’t understand the best “how” to get it done.

Having a good “why” is critical. We may think we have a good why, at least that is our intention. But the problem is usually in the scope. We simply make our “why’s” too big or too vague.

Example of the Harvard study of people who go to the gym in January. When asked why they go to the gym, the responses fell into two distinct groups; those who go because of the big changes they want to make, lose weight, get healthy; the second group just wants to feel good that day. They exercise because of how it makes them feel and how it improves the quality of their day. Which group dropped out and which group stayed? The group that exercised for how it made them feel that day were far more likely to continue regular exercise.

If your “why” is for how you will feel some time in the future you will very likely give up. Suffering today with the hope of feeling great days, weeks, or months from now is not sustainable. We are not wired that way. We are sustained by how we feel in the moment. If we feel good in the moment we will continue doing what we are doing. If we feel bad we will naturally seek out something that will make us feel better. Suffering today will only drive us to find an activity that makes us feel better. So a terrible day at the gym will likely result in choosing a different activity tomorrow.

With big goals we are often not happy until we achieve the desired results. If you are suffering through the process you will quickly lose interest and motivation. You simply bit off more than you could chew.

With smaller daily, moment to moment goals we get to experience regular satisfaction, knowing that the ultimate goal will take care of itself. Short term achievement gives you constant reward, and it allows for fast recovery when you fail. Had a bad day, missed your morning meditation? That’s okay. You can recover and continue tomorrow. All is not lost.

Simply put, your “why” should be about how you want to feel right now. Moment to moment to moment. Always choosing, always correcting, seeking our greatest desires one thought at a time, one feeling at a time.

Now that we understand the importance of choosing the right “why” and making it a daily moment to moment choice, let’s dive into the fun stuff…the HOW. To do this we will look at 3 Epic Ideas for how to create your greatest year ever.

Epic Idea 1: Know Your Zone
The comfort zone – This is the restorative zone. It is full of what is known and desired. There is no growth in this zone, only rest and restoration. The purpose for the comfort zone is to allow yourself a break from the challenges of time in the growth zone. It is the shelter from the storm, the warm shower after a good workout, the fellowship of others after working through difficult life challenges. But like all things it is meant to be temporary. Eventually you need to get back out onto the battlefield of life and get living and growing.

The growth zone – This is where all your desires reside. Anything you want that is truly worth pursuing exists in the growth zone. But it is important to know when you are in the growth zone and when you are in the stress zone. You should challenge yourself regularly so that you get to know the natural boundaries of your growth zone.

Growth isn’t about the big changes, it is about the small micro-changes we make every day. Getting just a little bit better at anything, done daily, over a period of weeks, months, and years compounds into massive change.

Michael Jordon is one of my favorite examples of living in the growth zone. Did you know, in high school, MJ was the worst player on the team? It’s true. One of the greatest basketball players of all time was kicked off his high school team because he wasn’t good enough. But Michael understood something critical. He understood that he didn’t have to be the best player on the team. He only had to be better than himself. Each day he set out to get a little bit better, not compared to other players but compared to himself. Gradually, day after day, moment to moment, the cumulative effect of MJ getting just a little bit better result in his rise to the top of his game. Most people think it was because of his natural talents, his gifted ability. Nope! It was his work ethic of continuous improvement, staying in the growth zone, being comfortable with discomfort.

The stress zone – This is where you have gone too far. The growth zone has limits. Go too far, risk too much, take on too great a challenge and you end up in the stress zone where you risk a full retreat back to the comfort zone. It is here that you find justification in remaining in the comfort zone. Venture too often into the stress zone and you will stop trying. “See. I tried something new and look what happened. I will never do that again.”

Example of the grasshoppers in a coffee can. Put a bunch of grasshoppers in a coffee can and put the lid on (with holes). The grasshoppers will jump like crazy trying to get out, hitting their heads every time. However, in time the grasshoppers will stop jumping as high, learning that jumping too high only results in headaches and broken antennas. At this point you can remove the lid and the grasshoppers won’t jump out. This is what happens when you jump too often into the stress zone. Eventually you stop trying.

The people I see rushing out the first week of January, running to get in shape after years of being a couch potato…? They went right to the stress zone. Failure soon followed. Then a new resolution…to never do that again!

How will you challenge yourself to spend more time in the growth zone this year?

Epic Idea 2: Embrace Change
Change is necessary for growth. In fact, change is required in the growth zone.
Your current health is the result of how you have been living up to now. If you want to change your health you have to change things in your life.
Your current finances are the result of your actions up to now. Want to improve your finances? You have to change things in your life.
Your current relationships are the result of your actions up to now. Want a better relationship? You have to change things in your life.

There are 2 kinds of change; change that you control and change you do not control. We want to focus on change that we control.

You can either choose to lead change, or you can have change lead you.

I love the serenity prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

The serenity prayer is all about understanding the difference between change you control and change you do not control. Our job as spiritual beings having a human experience is to know the difference and put all our energy into the change we do control. It is from this change that we evolve forward, growing, improving, raising our consciousness, continuously ascending into a better version of ourselves.

How will you change your relationship with change to support your growth in 2019?
 
Epic Idea 3: Embrace Failure
Success is never a straight line. You will fail, a lot. Success is not about how much you get right, it is about how quickly you get back up after failing. There is a saying in Chinese “fall down 7 times, get up 8.”

Babe Ruth was known for he record setting home runs. What people often overlook is that he also set records for strikeouts. For Babe it was “strike out 7, swing 8.” Michael Jordon had similar results. He missed far more shots than he made early in his career, but as he learned to embrace failure and get back to work after every missed shot and lost game, he got better and missed less shots and won more games.

Never let failure defeat you or define you. The best way to handle failure is to get back to work.

I love the way the Dali Lama put it when questioned by a student. The student asked “do you ever get angry or experience suffering?” to which the Dali Lama replied “oh yes, I suffer all the time. I just return to joy so fast you may not notice.” He has mastered embracing failure.

How quickly can you get back up after falling down as you grow in 2019?

Epic Idea 4: Live With Arete’
Arete’ is a Greek word believed to come from the writings of Plato. It means ‘expressing the best version of ourselves moment to moment‘. A supporting word from a similar Greek era is “Eudaimonia”, which means ‘good soul; when what you are capable of, you are being.’
Abraham Maslow stated it this way; “what one can be, one must be.”

What are you capable of? What is your full potential? The simple answer is that you are capable of whatever you desire, no less. The universe is not so cruel as to give you the capacity to dream without the capacity to make your dreams a reality.

To live with Arete’ you first must have a clear picture of your optimal self, or the Optimus You.

Coming up with New Years resolutions of any kind should focus on improving the best version of you, your YOU 2.0.

Now look at your daily actions. Do they support your Optimus You? No? Get on that..!

Do you know where you are on your journey to the Optimus You? If you don’t know how you are doing on your journey, how will you know when you stray from the path? This is why living your Optimus You is all about living moment to moment, consciously throughout your day. Only then can you know when you are rockin it and when you need to refocus on what’s important. This is the only way you can close the gap between who you are and who you want to be.

How will you live with more Arete’ and live your Optimus You this year?

Conclusion:
Make this years resolution to experience your Optimus You. Set the intention every day to live with Arete’ and express the best version of yourself, moment to moment to moment. Fall down a lot. Get back up even more. Lean into suffering and challenge. Spend more time in your growth zone.

Make as your daily desire to be better than you were the day before, continuously improving just a little bit more. Compounded over a year and you will achieve your full potential, your YOU 2.0!